For the first part of my life, my mother did the best she could in taking us to church. It was because of me that we stopped going. It's not that I threw fits and cried about the holy water burning me. I was just a hyperactive little kid who was difficult to keep a tab on. I was always escaping Sunday School. One day, they found me out in the parking lot playing with my Hot Wheels. I was just a kid and wanted to play with my toys, they were all taking a nap. How boring.
Then my parents tried taking me to mass with them. Being a hyperactive little handful, sitting still while some guy was talking about shit I knew nothing about was asking a lot. So, I would crawl under the pews and grab peoples ankles and just be a general menace.
It was after that the church told my mother and father that they didn't want me there until I was old enough to appreciate the church.
Ok, fine, I can understand that. But I think that affected my mom in a way I don't even think she was aware of, because after that, we never went to church again. If God promised to never give us more than we could ever handle, why did the church give up on me? It's not like I was Helen Keller for fucks sake. I didn't want to take a fucking nap, read me a story or some shit, it's not like those lazy asses in Sunday School had anything better to do. then again, what do I know, I was only a child back then.
The point is though that people who are supposed to be true believers in the word and were told by god himself to never give up, gave up on a little boy. They gave up on parents that needed help. They gave up on a family. It really is profound how much a decesion to send a child home can have on them and their family, isn't it?
So why am I grinding down the Religious babble? A couple of things... First...
Stephen Colbert really hit a nerve with me in his "word" segment. He hit on the point that has been plaguing me for most of my life: Bad things happening to good people, and good things happening to bad people. What kind of a god does this?
I have NEVER gotten a satisfactory answer. NOT EVER!
God likes to test us? Didn't you hear Alice Cooper? Schools Out! No more pencils, No more books... no more teachers dirty looks. So what's with the constant test of faith? Insecure? It's this kind of bullshit that pushes me further away from faith and embrace science. Science is a reasonable explanation of things we cannot and do not understand. We know about them, but we don't fear them. We look into it and learn WHY.
Thunder is not Angles bowling, it is the rapid contraction of superheated air from lightning. Faith or Reason? I'll take reason. It is substance. It is what must be because by the transitive property of our mere existence, all things exist and the proof is the periodic table of the elements. Everything in the entire universe is possible because of this knowledge. Knowing these things is like holding the hand of god. This is what is real, I have to believe in it because everything I know, exists in this reality and therefore I am bound by their laws.
Faith has too many loop-holes and gray areas. It's ambiguous at best and in an age where we can heal the sick, Explore the heavens and the depths, even harness the power that created our own sun, faith is weak. I have faith that my wife loves me. I have faith my family does too. I have faith the sun will rise again and the Earth will turn to sand. These are properties of certainty that are known so well both personally and predictability.
Faith in an invisible man in the sky that will send us to an eternal torment because we do not follow some strange rules that are obscured by ancient language.... yet claims to love us? Does anybody else see the utter insanity in that?
Another reason why I'm in this mindset is because of something I heard in the movie "The Dark Knight". The Joker said "Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It's fair!"
It certainly explains a lot about life and the natural order of things. How we are brought up, what we choose to believe, what we choose not to believe and then all of those things go completely awry when we become adults. Remember when you believed in Santa Claus? The Magic that was there and the sheer excitement of Christmas because Santa Claus will be there soon? Remember when you stopped believing?
Then the reality set in.
People so filled with the "joyous spirit" of the season that they trample a Wal-Mart employee to death. Explain that one to a child.
Religion and faith are things people cling to because it gives them hope and that is why I think it is a beautiful thing. Anything that fills people with hope, dignity and respect can't be all of a bad thing, can it? Faith in someone is a powerful thing, even if it is misplaced and even incorrect. Faith is what it is. It's love. It's hate. It is something that drives humans to do great things, and hideous things and therein lies the hypocrisy of it all.
What's fair? Why isn't life fair? Why do we except the notion that nothing can be fair?
Because of what that ideology leads to. Chaos is indeed fair. Fire burns land and trees just as it burns homes and people. It doesn't judge. It consumes what it can, leaves the rest for other forces of nature, and nature WILL consume it.
So, in believing in any higher power, any omnipotent force of creation, any all "loving" ethereal father figure, Always remember what it took to create all that we know. It wasn't blinked into existence. We, as a species are only as good as how we treat each other. There is a natural balance to all things and it is usually chaos that precipitates that balance. We only live for so long and our kind will be easily forgotten once we are finished. So make the most of the time you have in this world. Believe in yourself and believe in those that believe in you. In the end, that is what makes the difference. If you want to have something as powerful as faith, have it in yourself. Nobody can take that away from you unless you let them.
Parting note. Vanessa Reece, who's a good friend of mine and a very lovely person has asked me to contribute a little bit to her site sexyhotfatties.com which I have. Go check it out and enjoy yourself!