Being a clerk in an adult store isn't all fun and games. We do actual work. Some of the work we do is some of the filthiest jobs known. Last night I was cleaning "the back" and I found a five dollar bill...... in a small puddle of jizz. I know, it's disgusting..... but it's also 5 bucks. I've gotten my ass kicked in the past over five dollars, so to me, it's a lot of money.
But it's covered in man milk. So what do I do?
Do I just write it off as a loss to the US Government and throw it out? Or, Do I glove up, wash that fucker off with soap and water and swap it out with another five at my first opportunity? Many of you are saying "EEEWWWW! GROSSSSSSS!" and would just sweep it right into the garbage and I could hardly blame you. I wouldn't give you 5 bucks for doing it, but I wouldn't stop you either.
To me, THAT is a mixed blessing. Things like that are all around us. Something that is good, but it comes with a condition. It's hard to think of a good example because there are so many out there, but the fiver in the spew is a pretty good example. It's something that is worth going through some unpleasantness for.
To me, fishing it out of the gunk is of little consequence to me because I'm used to that kind of sick shit. I took it to the sink, washed it off in some hot, soapy water, blotted it off with a paper towel and wrapped it in another piece of paper towel. First chance I got, I traded it for another one. I don't know if my new five was any cleaner, but my guilty conscience was gone!
I don't feel bad about it. It's a lesson of taking the good with the bad and dealing with it an appropriate manner. That happened at a good time for me as this week hasn't been the easiest to deal with. The whole week up to the day 9/11 where the nation insists on opening old wounds just to "remember" is tough on both my wife and I. I'm just going to say we have deeply personal reasons why it bothers us, as most people do, and I'll leave it at that.
So finding that five bucks on the floor really cheered me up. Then I saw what it was laying in and I was like "That fucking figures!" and confronted that part of me that was excited to see the money, and the part of me that was disgusted to see what it was in. In the end, I decided that after the hard time I had been having this week, I didn't just want the money, I fucking deserved it! It was gross, but gross washes off.
So remember dear reader, Sometimes the greatest of blessings means we have to go through the nastiest of trials.