Saturday, August 30, 2008

Walking That Mile.

It's been a little while since my last post. I got so much positive feedback that it was incredible! It meant a lot to me that people cared so much about what I had to say, and that people were even moved by it. I like comments, leave them if you feel so inclined, I enjoy reading them.

I thought a lot about what I wrote in that blog and some people thought I was being a little unfair to the closet cases. Sometimes they don't mean to come off as selfish pricks. It's that they don't know what to do. They ask questions and are met with such hostility that they fear to ask any other ones. Well, if that's true, I figure I ought to say something.

Being the outspoken Fat Girl Admirer that I am, I thought I could perhaps provide some guidance in this area. If you are a closet case and you want to get out but are afraid, read up because I'm writing this for you. Everybody else can agree or disagree at their leisure.

I call it "Walking That Mile", and I call it that for a reason.
Marathon runners have always said that it's that first mile that is always the toughest. After that first mile is behind you, you begin not to notice how far you go after that. I'm no runner, but I know what it is to do some serious soul searching and some proving of personal worth to the harshest critic of me alive.... myself. Believe it. The standard I expect out of myself is twice what I expect out of anyone else.

To prove that you are indeed the man, you first have to ask yourself if this thing you have for fat girls is just a passing fancy or if it's here to stay and is never going to go away. There are guys who just like to fuck fat chicks, and that's it. If you're one of these guys, seriously, step off right now man because this isn't for you. I'm only giving it up here for my real FA's that are sick of having to hide their feelings from other people.

So, that's really the first question you should ask yourself:
Do I just want to see this fat girl naked or do I have real feelings for her?
Trick question, right? Of course you want to see her naked! But, it's the second part that is your answer. If you have feelings for her, then you at least have feelings for her as well as finding her body style pleasing. If you just want to see her naked, go jerk off to some internet porn until the fascination passes.

Next question you ought to ask yourself is a general one.
If I come out about it and let my friends and family know, how will they take it?
First, examine how they feel about fat people. Are they mean about overweight people like Ted Nugent and Anthony Bourdain? If they are, and you feel strongly attracted to fat girls, then it's time to examine your friendships a little bit closer. Remember, friendships come and go, but what you feel in your heart is forever. As for your family being a bunch of closed minded pricks, just ask yourself this:
Do I care what they think?
If you do, then you need to move out of your parents basement and experience life a little bit more. Then ask yourself that same question after you have had a taste of independence and what it means to be free.

If you don't care what they think, you better be ready to go right to the floor with it because it won't be pretty. If they are rude to you, unkind to you, mean to you and act as if they would be uncivil to the person of your affection, just remember that we can pick our friends, we cannot pick our family. If they can't support you, then they are the ones driving you away. Don't extend a hand of understanding if it's only going to get slapped away again and again and again.
Can I live without them?
Only you hold the answer to that question.

Then there are the more social questions:
Would I feel ashamed of being with her in public?
Obvious answer to this one with serious repercussions. If you are ashamed, time to jerk off to more internet porn because you are not ready. But if you are NOT ashamed, the next logical question is;
What do I do if people stare at us?
If you catch someone staring, grab her hand and hold it tight. Tell her that you are happy to be with her and compliment her. You really should be doing this anyway, but if people are giving you the stare, then this is a subtle way of letting them know that you two are just ordinary people, not a side show at the circus. Just a note here, if you are out and with your girl and you are romantic with each other and someone starts in with their disbelieving stares... kiss her. Just out of the blue. Turn their uncomfortable energy right back on them.

So you decided to take on the responsibility of having an adult relationship with a fat girl. I really hope you have thought this through because this is the part of your development as an "FA in Training" where your mistakes can be potential catastrophes. It's not just about you anymore. It's about her and her feelings. If you want to take her someplace to eat and she lets you decide, take her to the most popular place to go. just be sure the food is good and you bring enough money. Don't count on sex after this, just count on eating and having fun, ok? Show her that you are happy to be with HER... not her fat. Her fat is a secondary characteristic. Fetishists take special note: SHE'S A PERSON! A person with feelings and emotions. Care about HER, not her weight.

As a matter of fact, don't even discuss her weight unless she brings it up. Not all girls are as confident as BBW Webmodels, and it's going to take more time than this meal to really convince her she sexy. Earn her trust first, then she might believe you. Boys, it's important to understand something about fat girls and a lot of the ladies can back me up on this if they want. A fat girl goes through a lot just in day to day life. They are inundated with all of these images of what the world wants and none of those images are people like her. It's a cruelty they deal with all the time and chances are they are going to have a lot of first time apprehension with you.

So how do you pay a compliment to her that's from your heart and have her believe you? You can't. You can tell her how amazing you think she is. Her beauty, her smile, her intelligence, the way she wears her hair, any of that Joe Smooth shit. Even if it comes straight out of your heart and through your chest, It is she who has to decide to believe you or not believe you. If she believes you, RIGHT ON! If she does NOT believe you, don't worry about it, just smile and tell her that it's ok for her to feel that way, but you are still going to think she's amazing.

Time is the test on the truth of this statement.

Take her to meet your friends and your family. If you think they are going to be pricks to her, just tell her straight up honestly. Better to be honest with her than to have one of your "good buddies" emotionally punch her in the stomach. Same thing with family. This is assuming of course that in spite of your better judgment, you kept such people around. You do realize that a declaration of being an FA sets YOU up as a target to your friends and family.... if they are cold blooded. They are not going to change.

You are changing, whether you realize it or not.

Your priorities are shifting in another direction. One nobody could have predicted for you. Even if this relationship you declared yourself an FA doesn't work out (Not all relationships work out), at least you know what you are now, and you know what you want. You have discovered your real friends and the family members that stick with you are your real family indeed, not just people you have DNA in common with.

Being an FA means accepting a lot of things you can't change. Things like personal choices and peoples reactions and how they deal with you. You can't make their choices, they have to make their choices and if their choices are poor ones, accept them for those choices and deal with the fallout of those choices accordingly.
Being an FA also means changing a lot of things you can't accept. Flaws in your own personality, how you interact with people, doing something nice for that special fat girl in your life. Make your world an enriched place and you will see notice the quality of people in your life from there on in. Personal expectation, man, accept no substitutes.

Demand of yourself, work hard to achieve what you desire, enjoy the fruits of your labor. It is this that makes being an FA not just a personal choice, but rather, a way of life!

Many wishes for your success, guys. You are now learning and in time, it will be you passing on all you have learned onto other guys who are trying to incorporate what they feel into being a part of their life. My hope is that you are as strong willed as I am.

Accept no substitutes.


Bi-servantgirl said...

Another well written blog. This time, one of Great support with a good guide to following your Heart as an FA..

Love to you T..

Nicole said...

This is am amazing blog... damn! You should submit more of your writings to Zik, I'm sure he'd love to put stuff like this in the magazine.